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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23429605">SmutKnight's Lewd Guide To Staying Safe From COVID-19!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmutKnight/pseuds/SmutKnight'>SmutKnight</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>April Fools' Day, COVID-19, Come Swallowing, Coronavirus, Cunnilingus, Deepthroating, Dildos, F/F, Face-Sitting, Femdom, Finger Sucking, Fingerfucking, Fishnets, Gags, Hand &amp; Finger Kink, Isolation, Large Breasts, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Necks, Nurse Uniform, Nurses, Parody, Quarantine, Restraints, Stockings, Threesome - F/F/F, Uniform Kink, Uniforms, Vaginal Fingering, Wet &amp; Messy, social distancing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:35:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,074</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23429605</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmutKnight/pseuds/SmutKnight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A global pandemic is no joking matter! Luckily for you, SmutKnight has taken the time to make a sexy (and partially scientifically accurate!) guide to staying sexy and safe in these troublesome times. With the aid of her two busty assistants and a few lewd demonstrations, I'm sure you'll be feeling well-informed in no time!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>SmutKnight's Lewd Guide To Staying Safe From COVID-19!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Your Television crackles slightly, your daily dose of Doom and Gloom news</b> <b>TM  </b> <b> rudely interrupted by what looks to be a woman in full medieval plate armour. She’s stood in a small hospital room with a mannequin tied to a hospital gurney.</b></p><p>
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</p><p><em> “Well hello there fans and first time viewers! For those of you tuning it to our salacious little show for the first time tonight, let me introduce myself! I’m your host who’s armour shines the most; SmutKnight!” </em> <em> <br/><br/></em></p><p><em> <br/></em> <b>There is a painfully cliché ‘audience cheer’ soundbite in the background as the energetic woman curtseys, lifting her chainmail skirt and pretending to blow kisses from her helm towards a clearly non-existent audience behind the cameras.</b></p><p>
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</p><p>“<em> Now our regular viewers will know me for our regular broadcasts of gangbangs, saucy slice-of-life scenes, and </em> <em> oh so tasty </em> <em> lady on lady loving!” </em></p><p>
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</p><p>
  <b>A low quality wolf whistle sound bite plays as a screen descends in the background, showcasing clips of a weather girl getting covered in cum, some found-footage style recording of two Star Guardian women going at it, and a dark-skinned woman with curious large horns finger-fucking herself in the back of a coach of some kind. </b>
</p><p>
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</p><p>“<em> Whilst that is indeed a bunch of fun to film let alone show to all you lovely viewers; tonight’s broadcast is going to be a little different! Tonight I’m going to try my hand at teaching you lewd lovelies to stay safe in these troublesome times we find ourselves in!” </em> <b>The Knight cheerily announces, an onslaught of boos and shouting from the questionably existent audience, from behind the camera a tomato is hurled which the armoured woman deftly dodges before holding her hands up to calm the commotion. </b>  </p><p>
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</p><p><em>“Now, now! Don’t you go worrying! I’ve made sure today’s segment is just as sexy as always so viewers at home don’t storm the studio!”</em> <b>She chuckled, a pre-recorded cheer sounding out as she pushed the mannequin into a neighbouring room where two women stood grinning eagerly adorned in rather slutty looking nurse outfits. </b></p><p>
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</p><p><em> “Now then, let me introduce my friends here! This is the lovely Miss Sanitizer!” </em> </p><p>
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</p><p>
  <b>The host gestured with her hands towards the first woman. She had long blonde hair, smart thin-framed glasses that highlighted her wide eager eyes. Her nurse outfit was plain white with a light blue hand print across the front. The outfit ended as her thighs began, her thick thighs hugged tightly by fishnets. The medieval host took her hand and raised it above her head, encouraging her to spin and reveal there was no back to her outfit. Her ass was pale and plump, with the tell-tale glisten of arousal clinging to her soft inner thighs. </b>
</p><p>
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</p><p><em> “Now ladies and gents I just know you’re eager to get your hands on this delightful disinfectant, but first I need to introduce you to my second lovely helper: The Illustrious Lady Face-mask!” </em> </p><p>
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</p><p>
  <b>As another audience cheer sounded out, the second woman stepped forward. She was a redhead, a little bit curvier than the woman before whose breasts were sizable and firm, the nipples covered by red medical tape in the shape of a cross. Her nurse get-up began below her breasts: tied around her stomach was a white covering with a light blue mask symbol across her navel. SmutKnight grasped her hand like the woman before and she happily twirled for the camera, exposing her rear which was shapely and firm, spreading it slightly and winking over her shoulder as her lust dripped slightly onto the studio floor.</b>
</p><p>
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</p><p><em>“What eager guests we have tonight! So let’s get you lot learning, shall we?”</em><b> The cheerful host announced, a multitude of cheers and hollering as she took Lady Face-mask by the hand and helped her up onto the gurney, quickly straddling the mannequin which had had a suction cup dildo attached to it’s crotch while the women were being introduced. With a lustful whimper she lowered herself on to the dildo, bouncing up and down on it eagerly and getting it slick with her juices.</b> <b>As she bounced the knight moved behind Miss Sanitizer and held her gently by the throat with her steel gauntlets as she spoke. The blonde’s attention seemed fixated on the moaning woman beside them however.</b></p><p>
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</p><p>
  <em> “So let’s say you get a little close to someone outside of your household. Now, you shouldn’t be leaving the house unless you absolutely have to, but things like trips to the pharmacy, essential work or even just buying necessities need to be done still, right?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>The audience cheered in agreement.</b>
</p><p>
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</p><p><em>“And though you may not get close to infected individuals physically, there’s a good chance you might touch something they have, which could infect you if you’re not careful!”</em> <b>She explained, letting go of Miss Sanitizer and helping the busty face-mask clamber off of the hospital gurney, leaving the shining lust-coated dildo to drip messily. The host beckoned Miss Sanitizer closer, who took up position next to her.</b></p><p>
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</p><p><em>“Now, if you’ve touched anything outside of your home there’s no guarantee it didn’t harbour surface germs, so you’d best be safe and thoroughly clean any body part; Hands or cock!”</em> <b>The armoured woman explained, gesturing towards the nectar coated dildo which Miss Sanitizer dutifully took into her mouth, SmutKnight gripping the back of her head and helping to guide her down until her lips were at its base and the cock fully in her throat. </b></p><p>
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</p><p><em> “Now as our lovely disinfectant here is demonstrating, soap or hand sanitizer is the only way to truly clean something! But using it isn’t enough, oh no! You’ve got to make sure you clean your hands, or this case cock, for at least 20 seconds! Count it down with me!” </em> </p><p>
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</p><p>
  <b>The host began to count down from 20 with the audience, holding Miss Sanitizer down firmly against the sizable dildo, her throat bulging clearly from it’s girth. Her eyes watered and her make-up began to run down her cheeks, thick strands of spittle leaking and bubbling from her lips which dripped messily down the dildo’s balls. Her eyes began to roll into the back of her head, her thighs trembling as the countdown reached five. At the count of one the knight let go, the blonde woman lifting her head and grinning at the audience as she licked her lips, taking a small bow as saliva dripped down her nurse outfit. </b>
</p><p>
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</p><p><em>“Proper cleanliness is a must, regardless of the pandemic, so having this lovely lady around is always a must!”</em> <b>The host announced, a proud nod from the blonde assistant.</b></p><p>
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</p><p><em>“But that’s not all you can do! It’s arguable if this one will help much, and you shouldn’t go out and buy one if you know there’s a shortage of them in your area, but it’s worth showing for those of you who already have one: Let’s show you how to properly wear a mask!”</em> <b>The cheery host announced, flinging the mannequin from the gurney and helping Miss Sanitizer up and to lie down in its place. The red-headed face-mask approached once more, noticeably more red in the face and substantially more of her lust glistening as it dripped down her thick thighs. </b></p><p>
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</p><p><em>“So, if you’re lucky enough to have one of these lovelies at home, it’s no use to you if you can’t put it on properly! So, much like our lovely lady here is demonstrating, it’s important to cover both the nose and the mouth!”</em> <b>As the host explained, she helped Miss Face-mask up onto the gurney who eagerly straddled the blonde woman’s face. Her thick pillow-like ass easily enveloped the other woman’s face, a series of satisfied moans escaping from between her thighs as she began steadily grinding herself against her mouth.  </b></p><p>
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</p><p><em>“There we are, a perfect fit! Though it might be a tad difficult to breathe at first I’m sure you’ll get used to it! Haha!”</em> <b>A laugh track played, though scarcely audible over the moans of the Face-Mask who began cupping her sizable breasts with one hand, the woman below her’s legs twitching and toes curling as the other hand moved between the prone woman’s legs. This went on for a few more moments, the armoured woman seeming to enjoy the view and cacophony of feminine noises of lust. </b></p><p>
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</p><p><em>“It’s important to remember that your mask will need disinfecting too after everytime you leave the house, which it would seem Miss Sanitizer is doing a grand job of doing~”</em> <b>The knight teased, lady Face-mask moaning out an ‘oh fuck’ which was partially bleeped by a car horn sound clip as she trembled and came hard atop miss Sanitizer’s face. The blonde greedily swallowed every drop of the woman’s mess, gripping her waist hard and pulling her close in an attempt to push her tongue deeper inside of the woman straddling her. </b></p><p>
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</p><p>“<em>And of course I’m sure all of you viewers at home know of the 2 meter rule, that’s 6.5 feet for all you American viewers out there! Luckily for you, that happens to be exactly Miss Sanitizer’s height, so if you’re wanting to get a little more intimate with your face mask, you can do so safely by using your trusty hand sanitizer as we’ve demonstrated here!”</em> <b>A screen descended behind the host once more, this time showing Miss Sanitizer on all fours backing her ass up against the suction cup dildo stuck firmly to the wall, a steady trickle of lust dripping down from its base as she messily fucked herself against it. Her mouth was gagged however, similar to a ball gag but with a sizable cock protruding from it with which she was using to fuck the restrained redhead lady Face-mask. A combination of the curvy woman’s lust and the blonde’s saliva dripping from the gag and down miss Sanitzer’s neck. </b></p><p>
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</p><p><b>“</b><em>Oh, and that gag is double ended, talk about multi-tasking!”</em> <b>SmutKnight announced, holding up the very same gag which indeed had plastic cocks attached at both ends. To her side the thick redhead came again, now sucking her fingers of Miss Sanitizer’s mess, a large wet spot forming between the smothered woman’s thighs. </b></p><p>
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</p><p><em>“That just about covers it! Remember, your best bet is to stay inside if you’re able and not to order a mask unless you’re at risk or one of those brave souls out on the frontlines tackling this illness! You wouldn’t want to deprive someone else who needs it more than you, after all there is a shortage!”</em> <b>The cheery host reiterated, Miss Face-mask moaning and drooling, her tongue hanging from her lips and dripping saliva down onto her melon-like breasts as she came again atop her friend’s face. </b></p><p>
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</p><p><em>“That’s it this week from the SmutKnight Show! Thanks for tuning in!”</em> <b>The cheery knight announced, a thick velvet curtain sliding in front of the camera</b> <b>obscuring the lewd assistants, almost fully enveloping the screen before the host peeks her head around the side of it to address the audience one last time.</b></p><p>
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</p><p>“<em>Oh, and before I forget, I’ve organised a very special something for all my lovely viewers to help get you through this crisis. Keep your ears out, because I’m sending each and every one of you your very own Miss Sanitizer and Lady Face-mask to help make quarantine a little less lonely and a whole lot lewder! Till next time folks and remember: Stay horny and stay safe!”</em> <b>With that the curtain fully obscured the screen, a fuzzy static taking over the camera before the news show you’d been watching before crackled back on to the TV. Although aroused, you wondered what the hell it was you’d just watched. You grabbed your phone, about to check if anyone else had been interrupted by the strange transmission much like you had. You paused however as there was a knock at your door, followed by the muffled giggles of the women you’d seen on screen just moments ago. Looks like you won’t be quarantining alone after all!</b></p><p>
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</p><p>----------</p><p> </p><p>Happy April Fool’s day folks! I wanted to write something silly and lighthearted to cheer everyone up in this dreary time we find ourselves in. Though this piece was silly and clearly not intended to be taken seriously, the quarantine is not and I urge you all to make sure you follow local guidelines and stay safely inside if you can!</p><p> </p><p>I hope you all stay safe and spend this time alone to really <b> <em>enjoy</em> </b> yourself to the fullest! ;P </p><p>
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</p><p><b>&lt;3 SmutKnight </b>  </p><p> </p><p>
  
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